


god is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night

by eskosesa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:15:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eskosesa/pseuds/eskosesa
Summary: “Aren’t you too old for a fuck buddy?” Kun queries while opening the bag of pastries to take one.“I think what’s important here is that we are both consenting adults who know what they’re doing.” Taeyong points out, already tired from the amount of time he had told Kun about this.“Oh, how I wish you truly knew what you’re doing!” Kun shouts, some of the cookie crumbs had flew off of his mouth, trying to emphasize his own point when Taeyong disappears to his sweetest, greatest escape.Alternatively, Taeyong and Johnny have been friends with benefits for a while but Taeyong distances himself after acquiring feelings for Johnny for he’s convinced it is not mutual.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105
Collections: Johnny Fic Fest: Round Two





	god is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night

**Author's Note:**

> **in response to prompt** #JS014: Johnny and Taeyong have been friends with benefits for a while. Taeyong starts to develop feelings and distances himself from Johnny because he thinks it’s not mutual.
> 
> to my lovely prompter, thank you so much for your prompt and i do hope that i did justice on this one! please enjoy! :]
> 
>  **note for my divider each paragraph** , so as not to cause any confusion:  
> * <<< means it happened from the past  
> * >>> means it is from the present
> 
> title is taken from _god in jeans_ by ryan beatty
> 
> happy birthday to johnny! ^__^

  
  


>>>

  
  


The sugary aroma that sip through the cracks between the door and the walls is what shakes him out of his sweet slumber, tickling his nostrils which lines a frown on his forehead.

It is not every day that Johnny gets to wake up at wee hours after a good sex, clearly spent from the night’s activities, for he’ll gladly wants to sleep the exhaustion away. He could use some warm cuddle sessions too.

Right this moment, though, the space next to him was left unoccupied and cold. Dismay welcomes him with open arms.

Upset but eager, Johnny leaves the lonely bed to make his way where he thinks the aroma is coming from. It simply manipulates him and somehow it has become even more bearable to trade his sleep with the delicious scent that apparently woke him up now that his stomach is growling.

“Taeyong?” Johnny calls, voice still hoarse from sleep and he absentmindedly stretches an arm behind to scratch his butt. “Jesus, it’s four in the morning, why are you baking a cake? And what’s with the party hat and sweets?”

Not that he is complaining, just simply asking for the random activity, especially now that his eyes landed on Taeyong’s current state.

He is wearing one of Johnny’s shirts that is obviously oversized for his smaller figure, his koala socks, and an old party hat probably stored somewhere behind—the untouched and left forgotten space—his cupboards.

Johnny simply can’t help but wonder if Taeyong’s wearing anything under, the idea pleases him very much, hoping there really isn’t anything he’s wearing down there.

“I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. Want some cookies?” Taeyong replies, not even sparing Johnny a glance, clearly thrilled by how slowly the cookie doughs inside the oven spreads out beautifully, turning crispy on the edge and golden brown in the middle.

It’s no longer a question how Taeyong gets to bake whatever he wants in _Johnny’s_ apartment, for the amount of times he’s spent there that he had brought, perhaps, too much ingredients and stores it in the other’s kitchen. Johnny lets him, because who was he to refuse when that’s only the time his kitchen gets to be used and that Taeyong’s cooking skills is _legitimately_ good.

Johnny was never the talented one in the kitchen in terms of creating good dishes and delicacies—but surely one to master the art of ramming into Taeyong against the small kitchen aisle just how much the other likes it—compared to Taeyong’s skillful hands in cooking.

An attempt to understand the beauty which Taeyong sees inside the oven, Johnny advances towards the other, sits on the floor, and gently nudges his elbow onto Taeyong’s side, which effectively divided the other’s attention and looked at him in return.

“You’ve always been so good in creating stuff.” Johnny speaks again, voice hugged with amusement and admiration. “You know...clothes, pastries, paintings. You’re so good at it.”

Johnny means it just like always. He means every little thing he’s said when it comes to Taeyong because there’s no point in lying when the truth is what settles in his words.

A beautiful blush dusts on Taeyong’s cheeks with how genuine those words sounded when it escaped Johnny’s mouth. Most of the time, that is what encourages and motivates him through the day, so much that he holds onto them for dear life. Hearing words such as that lets him feel valued in the best way, so he succumbs.

“You flatter me too much, Suh.” Taeyong chuckles. He encircles his arms around his knees close to his chest and hooks his chin on top of it. “As if your hands aren’t as magical as your photographs.”

Enabling beauty in everything that catches his attention is something Johnny is so effortlessly good at. Expressing himself so well, perfecting his medium of art to its finest—but still continues to hone his skills up to its best limit—and use it to encapsulate every moment in such a beautiful way Taeyong could ever imagine, that it sometimes leaves him at awe, time and again. Astonished and sometimes bewildered how talented Johnny truly is.

As simple as a photograph of a hand against a white, lonely wall, of a man sitting alone in a table for two, or of a stray cat sleeping close to a bush, Johnny adds so much color and feeling to the most mundane situations. A story he’s able to tell through photographs. Even without words to read or to speak, there’s always an underlying message and emotion behind every photo he would take. Taeyong is only grateful to have come and witness such a fine art.

Johnny then hums appreciatively, gaze still focused where the cookies are, slowly letting himself be immersed with the careful process of how cookies were born to life. He kind of wants to grab his camera and snap a photo away, only if he wasn’t feeling too lazy to get up. So he lets it be and allows himself to capture it using his eyes and store it in his memory bank instead. “Isn’t it lovely when someone appreciates your works so much that it could give you a boner?”

Taeyong gasps scandalously, as if he’s heard the most appalling news that it effectively clears off his head that was hugged by sleep, and pushes Johnny to the side, as if it did much to outbalance the giant.

“You’re not getting hard, are you?” Taeyong questions, his eyes that were once tired are now wide open. It may not be unfamiliar to them, this kind of conversation, but Taeyong was clearly caught off guard. He didn’t think his genuine words of compliment to Johnny would do such an impact—a _sensual_ impact, that is. Maybe he’s never going to get used to Johnny’s smooth ways of supplying innuendos to his words whenever he seeks an opportunity ever.

“And what if I am?” Johnny teases, playfully raises a brow. And the pink that slowly dusts on Taeyong’s cheeks tugs a grin on his mouth. It’s always as easy as pie for Johnny to fluster Taeyong like this.

“Not in front of my cookies, you pervert!” Taeyong chastises Johnny. He wrapped his arms once more around his knees, this time to hide his face just as he could feel his cheeks burning.

“What?” Johnny smirks, purposeful and proud. “You said my hands are magical. I can certainly open _you_ up so good just how you like it.” Johnny scoots closer to Taeyong’s side and tentatively snakes an arm around his slender waist. And when he felt no flinch from Taeyong, he settled his hand on Taeyong’s side and noses at his neck, hot breath ghosting against his ear.

“Fuck you.” Taeyong immediately banters. The timer then finally dings and rings within the silent space of what four o’clock in the morning could offer. Even before it could ring thrice, Taeyong turned the device off then grabbed a fabric glove to carefully pull the tray out of the oven, sniffing at the greatness it offered. Johnny can’t help but succumb into the aroma once again that spreads across the atmosphere. His arm loses its grip on Taeyong’s waist when they get back on their feet, but then unconsciously finds it again just after mere seconds and Taeyong lets him.

Sometimes it has become too intimate, their conversations and gestures that is, as if fuck buddies were supposed to be this sweet and touchy. It lingers. The fleeting and feather-like touches somehow stays that it could simply eliminate their label as two people who are just fucking without strings adjoined meeting both of their ends—but it’s still there, the division that limits them. At least that’s what they know of.

“Is that an insult or my to-do list?” Says Johnny, chuckling at the way Taeyong had just rolled his eyes so dramatically.

“Both.” Is what Taeyong chooses to reply without hesitation, quick as a snap of a finger. Johnny only huffs a laugh, unable to construct a comeback for Taeyong as he watches the other how he had carefully handled the baking sheet while placing it on top of the kitchen counter.

Something about the picture they are trying to paint at this very moment is a mixture of ridiculousness and domesticity, that they could almost— _almost_ —create a piece to put at the back of The Louvre. They could almost grasp it, tape a label on it, and seal its frames, until the bubble pops and dissipates in the air.

But the thing is, as long as someone is blowing bubbles to wander in the sky and replace the ones that had already popped, then nothing else would matter for now except this _thing_ that they have. Whatever that is, as both of them suppose, then it stays as that.

And right now as they wait for the cookies to completely cool down, ready to burst its flavors inside their mouths, Taeyong’s mind begins to wander farther the path where it’s supposed to stay. It’s starting to offer him a plethora of inappropriate ideas and images. He weighs his options. But what options does he have, really?

None, as a matter of fact, because as much as he tries to dismiss the inappropriate thoughts that jumbles inside his brain, Taeyong thinks he would still let Johnny do whatever he wants as he pleases. He had already convinced himself that he’s an actual slut for Johnny’s inviting and enticing cock. And it’s not as if the growing tent visible from the front of Johnny’s sweatpants is any indication that he will stop annoying him to finally fuck again. If anything, he’s delighted whenever he easily riles up Johnny like this.

Or, maybe, Johnny’s just too horny.

Nevertheless, Taeyong will still indulge his lustful thoughts. They both do, always.

As predictable as they are, just like from most of the time they managed to have a private time together, Taeyong once again finds himself bent over the small kitchen aisle—which is no longer new since both of them has the _biggest_ kitchen sex kink—while Johnny pounds deeply inside him, telling him how well he takes his yearning length and how much he wants to take permanent residence inside his warm walls.

Taeyong bit his lip, finding his best to cover up the smile that’s slowly tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Johnny really tends to babble a lot during sex, always the one to talk about random topics like his camera will never do justice if it ever captures Taeyong’s debauched state. Or in a slow sex where they would _savour_ everything as Taeyong slowly rides Johnny’s monster cock, Johnny would simply lay out information to talk about such as how adorable that Puffling is what a Puffin’s offspring is called.

Sometimes it’s about scientific facts about fireflies, informing Taeyong that such insects would perform a chemical reaction inside their bodies for them to light up, and Taeyong is the one to always entertain those thoughts escaping Johnny’s mouth for he knew how much he loves to read whatever catches his attention and shares them to him. He would laugh and surprisingly engage in a conversation while Johnny deliciously grinds between his walls.

One of the many things they enjoy during sex is talking, as if that’s the most natural way to converse.

They laugh a lot too and both of them loves how much they enjoy each other while they fuck like there’s no tomorrow, that most of the time, they would lose touch with their surroundings and the time as they explore and dive in each other’s warmth and searing kisses. For the reason that the cake and cookies were now left embarrassed on top of the counter waiting for the two of them to come back as they decided to continue what they started in Johnny’s bedroom.

  
  


<<<

  
  


From one of those small bars on a Friday night where everyone needs a glass of liquor to wind down after long hours of work—like one of those slow, cliché movie scenes—is where Taeyong and Johnny had first met.

It was a fairly normal night just as the many nights that had passed through them, with the same objective of why must they take several glasses of alcoholic beverages and endure a hangover after—they needed an outlet to release the stress that hugged their cumbersome bodies like a soaked shirt drenched in the rain the whole day. The colorful lights weaving through the darkness and the slow melodies playing in the background stayed the same. This is a place that the likes of Taeyong takes refuge on an exhausting Friday night after a long day at work.

During the first half hour of his stay in the bar, Taeyong had gladly downed two glasses of champagne. All by himself, with no one else to talk to, because his friends that night had simply turned his invitation down due to personal, mysterious reasons. No one would say no to an invitation like that on a Friday night, not until that day.

Taeyong still made his way to the bar, nonetheless. He’s an adult, after all, who could find comfort and solace on his own, accompanied by a glass of a substance that would line a warmth in his throat. There might be others in the same situation as him right now, but still, the loneliness would creep in like an unwanted guest no one ever invited while making himself comfortable.

But he should be fine, for this is not a first. Or even a second. Taeyong should at least get used to the feeling not until his attention was caught by something.

Or, should he say, _someone_.

There from his peripheral vision, he saw a man alone, a glass of sparkling champagne on his hand with his eyes wandering from the small space where people were simply vibing with the music and then _him_. It was difficult not to notice when he could feel that the _someone_ who caught his attention for good had already started to bore holes in his body.

His hair was long and auburn, face too comforting to look at, really handsome too, everything what Taeyong admires.

And when their eyes finally met, Taeyong began to feel conscious of his surroundings and the warmth that slowly blanketed the apple of his cheeks. He blushed behind his own glass of champagne, tried his best to look elsewhere, only his eyes were stubborn enough to return his gaze from the man across him, as if they were magnetized. Truly mesmerised and quite surprised to see that the other was still looking at him with a careful gaze in his eyes, incredibly charming and easily one of the most handsome men he’s ever seen in his entire life, also in that bar that night.

Taeyong bravely took the challenge from the— _very_ _handsome_ —stranger. He wasn’t shy to begin with, if there’s an open opportunity for him, he’s not one to pass on that without a sweat. Especially on a night when getting laid is the main objective from his list, given the fact that it has been so long since he’s had fun in bed. From the fleeting eye contacts they have had, Taeyong then noticed that the other was slowly advancing towards him, unable to unsee how he’s smiling so handsomely to him which tickled his curiosity more so for this man. And that anticipation is starting to build inside his chest.

The other’s gaze was far from intense, rather, it was friendly and heartwarming. It was far from the lewd and uncomfortable looks other men would give Taeyong, as if he’s a prey to feast on. There’s a visible difference that this man holds compared to the others who had tried to interact with him from the past. His built and physique alone is unmatched just as Taeyong had managed to get a better look of the man’s stance. Especially now that he’s gotten closer to Taeyong, which gave Taeyong the best opportunity to look at him straight in the eye and see how brown his orbs were. They were hauntingly beautiful, mesmerising even.

“Good evening,” the man greets, even his honey-like voice sounds so handsome, “do you mind having company or you’re with someone?”

Taeyong wonders if the pink on his cheeks were successfully hidden under the dim lights, because it would be truly embarrassing if it wasn’t. And if the other notices, Taeyong’s glad that he didn’t choose to mention. So he welcomes the company, somehow feeling triumphant even though he’s not done anything to capture the other’s attention at all.

“Oh.” Taeyong starts, hoping that his voice didn’t sound surprised at all. “No. I don’t mind at all.” He allowed the other to take the empty seat beside him. The beating of his heart is skipping sporadically, threatening to escape his ribs. Taeyong is starting to believe that this is a feeling he’s never had in so long.

Silence is what seemed to join the two at first, with no one seemingly knows what to do or say. The sweat on Taeyong’s palm was starting to bother him and his hearing was trying to tune in to the silence between them better than the music playing in the background. But he was lucky that night. The initiative came from the man beside him—just as he should, Taeyong thinks, since he was the one who approached him—and that’s where their small talks began.

Taeyong was quite stoked. A night like this would usually go in a different direction. Something wild and messy. But to actually float in a boat with a stranger who piques at his interests, someone who could hold an intellectual conversation, is a path Taeyong would gladly take. This is comfortable, almost as new for him, to be having such a conversation when most men would always end up flirting with him—sometimes in the most disgusting way.

But the way this man talks to him is so open yet not so bold. It’s starting to turn him on. Because who wouldn’t? To be in such a close proximity with a _handsome_ and _intelligent_ man is a dream come true.

And perhaps, the way Taeyong giggles at the other’s jokes and the way his big eyes sparkle are what made the shift in the air. On a different perspective, the other had visibly suppressed his own laugh and smiles whenever Taeyong does so prettily. The urge to caress his blushed cheeks had been recurring to him the whole time they were talking. Taeyong seemed to overlook the change in the other’s gaze by simply tampering down his own heart.

But some things could happen, especially on a night so young. The faint sounds of chattering and slow melodies around them had encouraged them both to fall deeper on their conversation. Taeyong thinks it’s so easy to initiate a conversation with someone who seems interested in whatever he would say, perhaps, it’s just easier with strangers.

And as they go deeper in the loop of the conversation, something eventually opens another door of opportunity for them. The two somehow decided to take it elsewhere after a few shots of tequila. Somewhere alone and quiet where no one is around to judge them.

Apparently, that somewhere is Taeyong’s shared apartment, which is much convenient in terms of travel time. It would be painful to wait any longer inside the cab with both of their lengths growing tents under their pants.

He truly was a smooth talker, the man who Taeyong brought home. At the back of his drunk brain, Taeyong still wonders if the other acts like that once intoxicated, not that it matters—because this is just going to be a _one time thing_ and something meant to be forgotten after. His way of words led them here, where Taeyong took advantage of the absence of his roommate who’s gone for family affairs.

The truth is, Taeyong is not usually the type of a guy to bring a stranger home for a one-night stand. But he supposes that he simply can’t take a no from a man who’s doing such a great job in coaxing a moan from him after that horrible wait inside the cab as they travel. Taeyong embarrassingly fumbles with his keys in haste of opening the door, a little breathless and sweaty from the way the other’s hand had been palming over his clothed length. His mind was close to short-circuit when the other had pressed his hips on his ass. Taeyong wanted to curse and ask him to stop for a while to finally open the fucking door, but he can’t bring himself to do so for how great it feels to be touched like that.

For a moment, Taeyong had thought they could just do it in the hallway, not even afraid to be seen by their neighbors. But the other had caught on his misery sooner and helped him find the right key to unlock the door. Once the door swung open, Taeyong almost cried out of happiness, dragging the other hurriedly inside and locked the door again.

As soon as the lock clicked, Taeyong was immediately slammed against the wall, with the other wasting no more of their time and dove to capture his lips for messy and open-mouthed kisses. The way he was being handled with force and purpose disturbs the gears inside his brain, causing it to completely malfunction and immediately helps build a heat in his core.

Their bodies were dangerously close to each other, almost nothing to set them apart. Taeyong audibly gasps at the proximity after breaking the kiss to catch some air, while the other would easily press his hips on him even more just to hear some more of the obscene sounds he could make.

Taeyong thinks he’s never been kissed like that before, so messily and hurriedly as if they’ll soon reach a time limit. He likes it, though, their teeth clicks and tongues dancing together in tandem which makes everything more sensual and even hotter. For the reason that Taeyong now pulls the other’s hips to meet his again, rubbing their clothed and aching lengths together, up and down. Over and over again.

The thing is, Taeyong has no idea that the other is as turned on right now just as much as he does. The smooth talker giant that he was moments ago before they fell into the rabbit hole, now loses his words in exchange of Taeyong’s lewd and obscene noises that expels from his throat. He swallows it all, _willing_ to have it all.

Delighted by the delicious friction their rubbing lengths creates, the other uncaptures Taeyong’s kissable lips again to get a taste of the pale skin of his neck and shoulders while his huge hands grabs the globes of Taeyong’s ass to help him feel each other even better, distance can never be measured in this case.

“I’m Johnny.” All those fun small talks they’ve had earlier in the bar really surprises both of them to think they’ve never actually mentioned their names to one another, simply diving into the smoothness of the flow of their conversation as if they knew each other in the first place like good old friends.

For someone who’s been highly drunk on kisses and grinding on someone’s dick, Johnny is surprisingly still articulate and coherent. Taeyong was amused, if the other’s statement was spoken in a different voice—not the honey-like he’s become accustomed to—unlike Johnny’s deep and enticing one, he wouldn’t get a hold of it.

“Taeyong.” He supplies as a reply, cradling and pulling Johnny’s face close to him so they could kiss some more. It seems like that is what Johnny was waiting to hear for him to finally ask where they should do this. Taeyong bit his lip and grabbed Johnny’s arm behind him to pull him towards his bedroom.

  
  


>>>

  
  


Taeyong apparently baked too many cookies—two dozens to be exact—and there’s still two slices of the small strawberry shortcake he made along with it. Johnny didn’t know what else to do with the remaining pastries, given the fact that he’s never as fond of sweets as Taeyong, so he packed the rest for Taeyong to bring home and share with his roommate.

With an understanding nod, Taeyong gladly takes the brown bag from Johnny’s reaching hand and says his goodbye.

His lower back and ass undeniably aches from the three rounds they had earlier, but it’s always a good kind of hurt. Something that will remind him how much he’s had fun and how good Johnny makes him feel in bed.

The steps he’s taking away from the giant’s place and towards his own are light and happy. This sets as a reminder that despite the swollen muscles that stick close to his bones, Taeyong would still feel delighted after each session they would do. He thought it’s hard to get enough of it.

And once he’s home, Kun is already awake, giving his cup of coffee a stir. Leaning against the sink, he gives Taeyong an overlook, which unconsciously makes Taeyong to look at himself as well.

“Good morning to you, too.” He greets when his roommate chooses to sip on his coffee instead of saying something, placing the brown bag of cookies atop the dining table.

“You never stay the night.” Kun replies, a hint of concern in his voice.

“I was tired and he politely offered.” Taeyong shrugs, ignoring the knowing look etched on his roommate’s—one of his best friends—face.

Kun couldn’t help but shake his head in disbelief. “This game you’re playing is dangerous, Yong.”

Maybe he’s already well aware of that. Nobody needs to remind him _that_. Not that the rational part of his brain had never beseeched him to back off and re-think of his stupid decisions in life, or that his conscience had never once followed him even in his dreams like an inevitable sleep paralysis. But as long as Johnny and him enjoy each other’s company, rules, and promises, then he supposes they’ll be fine.

He will be fine because he is a stubborn adult who doesn’t seem to act like one but is actually trying. Believe him when he says he is trying, because he does...just gradually. But sometimes he would make a pause and go back to the old path he knew would be dangerous enough for his mental state, and as soon as Johnny begins to pepper him kisses and whisper sweet nothings to him, he is left speechless and his mind goes haywire. Hopeless.

“Aren’t you too old for a fuck buddy?” Kun queries while opening the bag of pastries to take one. Taeyong wanted to snatch it away from his hold if it wasn’t for the fact that he wanted to share it with him once he had arrived home.

Kun was always the friend that shows so much concern to the people who he deeply cares for. It’s no news for Taeyong that Kun sounds like a nagging mother to him right now.

Twenty eight is definitely not old, perhaps, just in the middle of young adult to adult. It could be just the mindset, too. Taeyong considers himself young and thriving especially in his career as a stylist. 

“I think what’s important here is that we are both consenting adults who know what they’re doing.” Taeyong points out, already tired from the amount of time he had told Kun about this. Sometimes it felt a lot like he’s being treated like a kid, because as much as he appreciates his friend’s concern, it becomes a burden at times. Especially when Kun worries so much about him more than his own mother would.

This is a topic they’ve already managed to brush over a couple of times from the past, having Taeyong and Johnny in this situation as Friends With Benefits for over seven months now, Taeyong just wants to escape the interrogation by making a beeline towards the bathroom as if that’s the most mature way to handle the situation.

“Oh, how I wish you truly knew what you’re doing!” Kun shouts, some of the cookie crumbs had flew off of his mouth, trying to emphasize his own point when Taeyong disappears to his sweetest, greatest escape.

Taeyong heard him loud and clear, but he chose to let it travel between his ears and then let it go with no intention of keeping and entertaining them. He just wants a warm bath and the rest of his day to relax and sleep, not anymore of his roommate’s nagging.

  
  


<<<

  
  


Reaching the studio for the next shoot he’s assigned to style an artist, Taeyong sees a familiar tuft of an auburn hair amongst the crowd and a figure standing tall, holding a professional camera—probably testing the settings in his liking.

That was the second time they met, an unexpected mess that certainly whacked his brain and ass. Because one night stands are supposedly just a one time thing, you expect to never see them again. That’s it. But in Taeyong’s case, it maps out an extremely messy plan at the back of his head.

He understood that the usual photography team they work with had been laid out with greater opportunities and offers to attend abroad, leaving them with a new set of team to help them professionally shoot artists and other clients who work with them.

Taeyong supposes that he could easily swift throughout the whole thing of attempting to avoid Johnny and think of the _he probably doesn’t even remember me_ _at all_ conclusion because the other has yet to acknowledge him despite the few times they’ve had fleeting eye contacts during the photoshoot. Especially when Taeyong calls for a pause to fix what needs to be fixed in their client’s clothes and accessories. Everything needs to be perfect, after all.

For Taeyong, though, it was difficult to forget a man who had set the record of someone who he had the best sex with in his entire life, but Johnny doesn’t need to know that.

One of his closest stylists in the team, Ten, had noticed the uneasiness that radiates off of him the whole time they were working. Excessive nail biting and unable to stay in one place were already a dead giveaway for him to conclude such an attitude. He’s becoming uncomfortable with the vivid changes in his friend’s behavior today.

“You alright?” Ten carefully asks after the shoot, a soft pat on Taeyong’s shoulder.

Taeyong nods, if Ten notices him tensing up, he’s glad he never mentions. Earlier this day, he planned to remain calm so as not to bother friends who knew him so well, however, Ten was always so attentive of others and clearly busted Taeyong’s little scheme of pretending to feel alright.

Ten didn’t seem to believe him at first, but as soon as he had finished packing up the clothes and accessories that were used in today’s shoot, he waved Taeyong goodbye. Taeyong assured him he’s just fine and that his mother is probably waiting for him now for their planned date, he didn’t want to hold Ten for long to disturb that.

When everyone else was gone, that was the time Taeyong had finished packing up. He sighed in relief and sat on the bean bag next to the full body mirror to somehow ease his nervous mind.

If he came to think of it, Johnny left without saying anything to him. Not even a small smile or a _you did well today_ , the usual appreciative and encouraging remark after a job well done. Of course, not that it matters. They are not friends or even as close to being acquaintances. Colleagues, maybe, since they work under the same company now?

Clearly, none of that matters because there’s nothing between them and this unpleasant feeling in his chest must fade away to finally make sense of everything.

But before he could act on it and mentally slap his face for even feeling that way, someone clears their throat and it immediately pulls Taeyong out of his messy thoughts.

“Let’s go grab some dinner. You haven’t had one too, right?”

The voice that disturbs the silence was enough to startle Taeyong, almost enough to make him scream but had successfully managed not to do so by biting his bottom lip and placing a hand on top of his chest, an attempt to suppress his scream down. He thought everyone had already left, that he was the only person staying there just for a bit to think but he was wrong.

He knew that voice. It’s that deep, charming voice he’s loved to hear up close once again. Close to his ears while breathing heavily, hot against his skin while— Taeyong shakes his head. Why must that memory flash again in his mind like a favorite movie? Something so unforgettable. Something he could watch again and again. This almost feels like a dream.

Well, sure he’s heard him talk earlier, but never directly or personally to him. He just wanted to have another conversation with Johnny but they never engaged with that because it’s not easy. They were just two strangers who had nothing to do with each other anymore at all.

“What?” he asks, dumbfounded. As much as he wanted to say something more than that, his brain betrays him.

The other gulps, clearly as nervous as Taeyong and it somehow relieves him to know that he wasn’t alone in this boat.

“Dinner, let’s get you some good food. Maybe it could make you feel better?”

Oh, so he did notice Taeyong’s uneasiness too.

Johnny could feel that his own hands were getting clammy, he had to wipe it on the side of his jeans. “Come on.”

Taeyong knew he should at least contemplate, but free food always is _so_ tempting. He’s also starving at this point, they’ve had a long day at work, an image of a good bowl of stew and fried noodles flashes in his mind and that’s it. He caved in and took Johnny’s reaching hand to help him carefully get back on his feet.

From what they have settled, they had dinner at a nearby family restaurant and Taeyong ordered what he originally had in mind. A steaming bowl of stew and a plate of fried noodles, while Johnny went for pork belly and black bean noodles.

The entire time they were enjoying their food, they fell in a comfortable silence. Surprisingly so comfortable just like the first time.

And later after dinner, Taeyong thanked Johnny and wished him good night.

Johnny smiles, making Taeyong blush in the slightest.

  
  


>>>

  
  


With his career as a stylist, fixed days off are non-existent to his calendar. It usually changes at least thrice a month, given by the fact that they care for their clients’ preferred appointments of shoots.

But out of the days of the week, Thursdays are his favorite. For him it’s a chill day, streets and grocery stores are usually less crowded, easy to stroll and it makes you take your time. Anticipation, it brings you that too, a lovely anticipation of the coming day which is Friday, and then Saturday.

Thursdays are usually the day, too, that he meets Johnny after work. There are great memories that that particular day of the week stores for Taeyong, a little part of him wishes for Johnny to feel the same.

And then there comes Sunday, his least favorite of them all. It’s a day that gives him a bag full of anxiousness and deep sighs because Monday, the evil of them all, is after its tail.

Apparently, today is a gift for Taeyong. It’s that one of those rare times when the words Thursday and rest day are next to each other.

The first thing he thought about last night was to invite his long-time friends for lunch and then meet Johnny afterwards.

Meetings with Johnny had been a constant in his schedule. They will always make time for it, usually happens once a week, wherever it falls as long as they don’t have much work to do the next day.

Some of the staff from their team were quite envious of him now. It’s no doubt that a lot of people will fall on their knees for Johnny’s beauty, he would probably get the same feeling, too, if he wasn’t as close to Johnny like he does now.

Those people will certainly be even more envious of him if they ever dated. But they didn’t. There will always be a thick line that fully sets them apart.

They were just doing it for the fun of it all according to Johnny one night. The tiny spark of hope in him died as soon as the other had said those words. Sure, because friends with benefits were supposed to not draw strings to one another and catch feelings for each other, because they are just in it for the _fun_.

Kun was right as always. This is a dangerous game he’s playing, but still with no intention of stopping and clicking the exit button just yet despite the knowledge of having a bad outcome he would receive after. He’s honestly a bit scared of how things will be if the comfort of the other is nowhere near to be found.

He decided, that staying in this relationship will keep him sane for as long as he needed, and until then that something could finally smack him upside the head and tell him to stop, then that’s when he’ll step back and try to forget and not regret that he’s done nothing to take a further step.

The thought of Johnny and their current situation immediately shuts off when he hears the ring of the chime attached to the cafe’s door.

Doyoung and Jungwoo arrived at the same time, much convenient to go together since they are roommates. Yuta then comes last. Always the last person to arrive in every meet-up they planned together.

The three of them have taken a huge space in Taeyong’s life, having known them since high school. They used to live in the same neighborhood when they were younger and it still mesmerizes them how far they’ve come together.

Taeyong cannot imagine a life without them.

“Is that a hickey?” Jungwoo suddenly dangerously cuts through the silence, covering his mouth full of spaghetti. He knew he could’ve let himself swallow the pasta first before he could speak, manners is what makes a man after all, but as soon as his eyes caught the glimpse of a fading purple on Taeyong’s neck, Jungwoo simply can’t wait another second to scandalously react on what his eyes had discovered.

Both Doyoung and Yuta stopped their hands mid-air, opting to make a halt from taking a spoonful of rice to see if Jungwoo was bluffing or not because he’s so good at that.

Three pairs of eyes are now watching Taeyong and three pairs of brows that are almost reaching their hairlines from the sudden discovery, because apparently, Jungwoo wasn’t even close to bluffing this time.

The thing is, from the long years they’ve known each other, they knew well that Taeyong was never one to stay in a casual relationship. Truth be told, among the four of them, he cares for true love and long-time relationships so much that he never indulged himself with just being _casual_ to somebody.

So clearly, Taeyong’s mindset about this matter had drastically changed from what he truly believed ages ago during their younger years.

From the horror of it all, Taeyong still decided to cover his neck when he already knew there’s no way out to this. Taeyong himself had no clue where the mark was even located. He absolutely failed to notice it when he quickly checked himself in the mirror before he left.

 _Johnny Suh, you absolute little shit!_ Taeyong cusses at the back of his mind, all the while he was trying to collect himself to gather his thoughts.

They’ve talked about not leaving any marks on their skin, that is one of the golden rules in this agreement.

And unfortunately, that rule simply counts as a broken rule now.

“What?” For the record, for someone who knew how Taeyong would get flustered, Taeyong himself had forgotten that these are his best friends who he was with right now. They surely know that his response was just him trying to look innocent, thinking he could outsmart the knowing looks of his friends.

“I thought you already got out of it?” The blasé painted all over Doyoung’s face is something that reminds Taeyong of his own roommate, and he didn’t know how to feel about that.

He knew that his friends only meant well, that they truly cared for his heart and well-being, but he guesses that he’s just really a stubborn one. He wanted to prove to his friends that this relationship he had with Johnny won’t hurt him in any way.

At least for now.

So, yes.

Maybe he is an absolute idiot for even trying to corroborate his flawed scheme when it’s an obvious mess even before it happened.

“Is it from the same guy at work?” Yuta carefully placed his spoon back on his plate. And while with full intent on both feeding himself and knowing more about Taeyong’s relationship, Jungwoo multitasked.

“I can never imagine it with another.” Taeyong softly replies. He’s thought about it before and _yes_ , it was difficult for him to imagine a different image than Johnny with him in this ridiculous relationship.

“The last time I checked, fuck buddies weren’t supposed to have strings attached.” It’s true, though, what Doyoung had just said and Taeyong has already heard that a thousand times if not more.

“Oh, no, _no_. It’s nothing like that.” Taeyong shakes his head and waves his hand to emphasize his denial. “We know our boundaries.”

That, too, is nothing but the truth.

All these boundaries and rules in the manual code of the book of Friends With Benefits, Taeyong believes he is knowledgeable enough to know what he should do and not do to keep his heart at bay in the long run. They never meant to stay, it just simply happened and they allowed the waves to carry themselves wherever it wanted to crash and go.

But only it is him to know that there could be other reasons than just staying for the fun it brings and how it helps him relieve stress as to why he kept on choosing to stay, time and again.

Doyoung heaves a sigh, always the one to show transparency with his own emotions, and reaches Taeyong’s hand. “We just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You know we wouldn’t bear to see you in pain.” Jungwoo supplies, because it’s true. They have seen it before after an awful break-up and it’s not a good sight to see.

And then there’s Yuta, “just don’t come crying at us because of your dumb ass.” Always the one who has the most interesting way with words.

“You know what he meant by that.” Doyoung snorts. It means, that no matter how stupid he gets over a boy, they would still be there for him to comfort him as he shed fat tears and Taeyong knows it so well, all he could do is to laugh at Yuta’s statement.

Slowly, they managed to divert the conversation into something that helped them reminisce the good old times and to catch up about the things they’ve been busying themselves into, never to touch the subject again of Taeyong and his casual relationship with Johnny.

It didn’t take long for the four of them to part ways as soon as they finished lunch. Each one of them have other plans and work to attend to, after all. They gave each other the tightest hugs and said their goodbyes, making promises to hangout again once they’ve found time and matched their schedules.

Right now, Taeyong makes his way to Johnny’s place where they usually have their private meetings since he lives on his own, a lot more convenient than suggesting to do it in Taeyong’s place where Kun almost murdered both him and Johnny after they had sex while he was home, the music he was playing during that time in his own room couldn’t even help to at least protect his ears from the unholy, obscene noises they were making that night.

It would never happen again in their apartment. Never again.

Once he’s reached his next destination, Taeyong was welcomed with radio silence even after he’s knocked multiple times, enough to let the other know that he finally arrived.

He plucked the spare key Johnny gave him ages ago inside his wallet when he received nothing after another knock.

(“Here,” he offered Taeyong a key, “so you can just come inside if I ever made you wait long enough for you to opt for leaving instead.” And then he smiled, whisker dimples appearing so adorably under his eyes.

All it gave Taeyong was confusion and a question.

“Do you not care about the fact that I could be a murderer or something?” The faith Johnny has in him somehow flattered him in weird ways.

Johnny shrugged, leaving the door open for Taeyong to make himself comfortable.

“You are definitely something but not a murderer.”

If that even meant something, Taeyong refused to believe it meant what he thought it was. Afraid to ask what it could’ve meant, saving himself from embarrassment.)

As expected, Johnny was sleeping like a log on his bed. He must have stayed up all night for a game night with Donghyuck and Mark. The three of them could go on for who knows how long in front of their computer screen, screaming at each other asking for a cover and help once they’ve started. Taeyong never really understood the hype in it.

Taeyong automatically smiled to himself the moment he saw Johnny’s peaceful form, bundled up with his warm comforter. The image that is laid before his eyes at this very moment had urged him to brush Johnny’s long hair away from his handsome face, but afraid that it could disturb the other’s well deserved sleep.

There’s always that feeling of wanting to take care of Johnny deep inside of him. He’s clumsy at times and forgets to attend to his needs, and who knows if Johnny even ate dinner last night for he knows how much he values sleep better than filling his stomach with good food.

He gave himself a few moments to enjoy having the luxury of witnessing how adorable Johnny is when he sleeps before he let himself gingerly close the door and cook something for Johnny in whatever ingredient he could find in the tiny kitchen of the giant.

He managed to get the basic ingredients he needed to make potato pancakes and musubi. It shouldn’t take him long to finish and he hopes that Johnny wouldn’t mind him using his kitchen again.

Johnny never did, though. Taeyong would just always tend to think that the other was probably just being nice even though he was rude enough to rummage through his stuff in the kitchen. Johnny would only laugh at him, saying he would never mind if he’ll keep making wonderful dishes for him to enjoy.

  
  


There it is again, his most favorite kind of alarm to wake his senses up. The smell of good food, which reminds him a lot of childhood where his mother is up early in the morning making breakfast for their family, how the smell lingers and brings back good memories.

Since the moment he met Taeyong, it has become quite less that he uses his phone to ring loud noises to wake him up, but the aroma that comes from the food Taeyong cooks for him whenever he’s around when he’s sleeping happens more.

It’s one of the little changes in his life that he came to appreciate and the way Taeyong cares for him even though he need not to do it.

Taking care of Johnny Suh was never a part of this whole thing, but Johnny himself is glad that Taeyong did.

Even with the silence that blankets his room, Johnny could still hear a faint sound of a familiar melody that weaves through the delicious aroma within the whole apartment. He didn’t have much of a choice but let all of it to have him disconnect with his slumber and be reminded of the other’s existence outside the room.

As soon as he had opened the door, the combination of adoration and endearment bursts everywhere and it splashes to his sleep-addled body like ice cold water, effectively waking his senses up.

He slowly sighs, enough to keep it to himself as to not bother Taeyong’s little performance in the kitchen with his cute butt shaking to the tune of a happy song that’s currently playing on his phone, and then eases his weight to lean himself against the doorframe.

Johnny watches the other with so much fondness swimming in his eyes and the smile that he paints on his lips is so genuine, so much that he looks a lot like he’s lovestruck. Taeyong sways his hips from side to side, clearly delighted with the music as he flips through the potato pancake in the pan, and Johnny lets him.

He lets Taeyong do his adorable dances and flutter the butterflies inside his guts. He savours it all, watches Taeyong like a favorite movie he’ll never get tired of watching.

There are many things that Taeyong could easily ignite within Johnny but Johnny never let him know. It is a secret for him to keep, something he’ll carry for as long as he can. But for now he does his best to pretend just to keep the other close to him, to let him take care of him, to let him cook for him, to let him come over and use the spare key as much as he’d like to, to let him do things to Johnny that makes him go crazy.

For now he’s willing to have that and think about the outcome he wants for the both of them and what it could cause him if real feelings were ever involved on another day.

“Oh, hey, you’re up.” Taeyong greets, a sheepish smile tugs on his mouth. “Sorry, I rummaged through your fridge again. My radar tells me that you haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“Your motherly instincts were right,” Johnny chuckles, still leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom, “but you’re wrong for thinking I’d be upset about that.” He tips his head where the pan was to bring his point to Taeyong.

“Say you’re just not upset because I make you great food.” Taeyong says smugly and then he turns off the stove after scraping the last potato pancake off the pan.

Johnny now makes his way to the dining table, the image of the potato pancakes easily pulls him like a magnet.

“You didn’t have to, though.” Johnny means it, as much he loves what Taeyong cooks for him, he didn’t want the other to force himself from doing all these stuff.

“But I want to,” Taeyong replies, placing the plates for each of them on the table, “eat up, you stinky man.”

Of course Taeyong has his own way of words with Johnny too, all the weird nicknames he could think of that would perfectly fit the situation and just whenever he feels like calling Johnny whatever he wants such as dingbat, bigfoot, and pervert. So Johnny sniffs inside his shirt and well, he smells like shit. All Taeyong did was laugh and offer him three pieces of pancakes and a musubi.

  
  


Taeyong was scrolling through his Instagram timeline while waiting for Johnny who’s currently giving himself a well-deserved bath according to him. He worships sleep, it’s what he always puts first before anything else which makes it less questionable how he went straight to bed after long hours of sticking himself on his computer chair last night during game’s night with Donghyuck and Mark.

From the countless of times they’ve had sex before, Johnny’s bed had become a familiar space for Taeyong too. It’s no longer awkward to wait there instead of the couch just like how he did during their first few meet-ups. Johnny would see him making himself comfortable there without judgements.

After Johnny was done in the bathroom, he immediately made his way to his bed and carefully spread Taeyong’s legs apart, giving himself enough space for him to sit on.

“I want to suck you off.” Johnny announces, fingers already pinching at the hem of Taeyong’s shirt.

“Fuck.” Taeyong’s a little surprised, it’s not every day he would hear such an offer from Johnny for he was usually the one to make a statement like that. Taeyong loves Johnny’s dick so much, it’s hard not to want to suck and taste his huge length that could easily hit the back of his throat. As a matter of fact, the idea of Johnny fucking his mouth is enough to loosen the grip of the gears in his head. It immediately turns him on, so how was he supposed to refuse such a lovely offer from Johnny, especially with that wonderful and warm mouth of his?

“Oh, yes, and that too for sure.” Johnny quickly responds, there’s a vivid hint of want and desire in his hazel brown eyes and deep voice.

“Yes, please.”

As soon as the magic word falls from Taeyong’s mouth, Johnny dives under Taeyong’s shirt and peppers his soft, milky tummy with kisses, smooches, and soft bites—not enough to leave marks on Taeyong’s skin but enough for the both of them to ask for more and lose their minds together—and Taeyong loves it so much when Johnny does that to him.

Those soft kisses that would turn into gentle bites are what Taeyong is willing to die for.

Gentle giant is what he thinks Johnny is outside his wild, lustful self who would effortlessly manhandle him and senselessly pound into his walls with no hesitation just as much as he likes it. Johnny’s duality is really something.

From a softie on the inside to a fucking sex god. He drives Taeyong mad.

Little by little, Johnny savours each passing moment he’s remained tucked under Taeyong’s shirt while he continuously takes claim on the other’s soft belly with kisses as if it’s a land he’s been wanting to secure as a territory. There’s a genuine sense of happiness that blossoms inside him every time Taeyong tells him how well he is with what he’s doing and when Taeyong places his hand on top of his head to caress his thumb on it. It definitely encourages him more to be good for Taeyong.

And when Johnny wants to savour something, he truly means it. He would always give his best to keep what he wants for a long time as much as he can, so he carefully takes all the time he has to continue his ministration. But Taeyong wishes to have more.

A constant thing on his list is to be perfectly ruined by Johnny whenever they decide to do sensual things in bed. That’s what Taeyong wants now, to be carefully stretched and then feel that familiar but good kind of hurt once Johnny breaches his entrance and finally takes him as he pleases.

However, even before he could beg Johnny to take him to the next level, he could slowly feel the way Johnny has put a halt on painting a map of kisses on his tummy.

“Johnny?” Taeyong softly calls, caressing a thumb on the other’s head once more in an attempt to get his attention, which—unfortunately—eventually offers him nothing.

He waited for Johnny to make a response, but instead of a hum of acknowledgement or at least a word of response, Taeyong hears a soft snore under his shirt.

Taeyong chuckles, it was the first time ever in history that Johnny sleeps on him before they could even get to the spicy part of the plan. He supposes that Johnny really hadn’t had enough sleep last night and from the gentleness of his ministrations earlier, he couldn’t help but make himself comfortable and eventually find peace with slumber.

Carefully, Taeyong pulls the hem of his shirt off of Johnny’s head and there he saw a peaceful, sleepyhead giant visiting dreamland once again while using his tummy as a pillow.

Taeyong allows himself to relax and play with Johnny’s hair for a while until he reconnects with slumber too, thinking he would hold Johnny with a promise of blowing him off on another day.

  
  


<<<

  
  


Due to the fact that Johnny had once invited and treated him for dinner the second time they met, somehow put Taeyong in a situation where he felt the need to do something to be able to give back to Johnny.

Today at work, too, he noticed the shift in the air, thinking that the previous encounter with the other opened the gate towards a place where Johnny is starting to acknowledge him with morning greetings and tells him he’s done a good job after work.

Not that he doesn’t like it, in fact, he’s quite unsure how to respond to those lovely smiles Johnny offers him when he knows he can’t mirror the brightness of his smile. But he tries hard to reciprocate Johnny’s positive attitude towards him. He’s too good to be true and this is somehow fucking up his head—and maybe his heart too, but that’s a story to tell on another day.

One time while they were taking a break from the shoot, Ten approaches him with a certain look he knows so well and it immediately sends chills all over his body.

It’s that infamous mischievous smile he has on his face and Taeyong wants to erase it away, only Ten was quicker to surprise him with his directness at asking questions, always one to not know how to filter his words.

“What’s with you and Mr Photographer?” He bumps his hip against Taeyong’s with a disgusting giggle that exhales from his mouth.

“Uhm,” he starts, brows are pinching together, “co-workers?” And then finishes his words with obvious hints that there shouldn’t be something with him and Johnny, because there’s literally none.

Ten pulled Taeyong somewhere in the studio where there was a small table and empty seats. Taeyong could feel his friend’s interest here, whatever this is.

“I know that already. Tell me something I don’t know.” Ten smiles again, resting his chin against the flat of his palm when he rested his elbow on the top of the table. He is so into this—as if he’s already been convinced that there’s some kind of information he could get out of Taeyong’s mouth—and Taeyong could clearly see it in his eyes.

“There’s nothing to tell except you’re reading too much on the things you see.” Taeyong leans back to rest his weight against the back of the seat.

His friend hums, slightly nodding his head while digesting everything Taeyong had said. But it really didn’t stop Ten’s curiosity even after all he’s confessed.

“Sure, except there is a sexual tension I could sense between you two. And, _oh_ , those disgustingly cute smiles you give each other on set? Everybody’s sure Johnny could actually mistaken you as his model one day from the many times he’s got distracted by you.”

Well, that is sure a hell lot of information for Taeyong to absorb.

First, Ten’s attentiveness and his observation skills are about to reveal one of his favorite secret past-times on a long shoot, which is to steal glances at Johnny and admire him from afar. It’s not his fault that his eyes are able to glue themselves to the other most of the time when he can’t help but stare at those lovely hazel brown orbs that he certainly thinks are what holds the stars and dreams and so as his smooth and healthy long, auburn hair that he kept wanting to touch.

Second, everyone thinks and sees the same as Ten? That’s absolutely terrifying. Imagine several versions of Ten in one place waiting for something to finally happen just to prove his point, watching every move he makes—chills immediately dotted on his skin.

But while he’s nosy, Ten is a good friend first. Taeyong knows that Ten just wants some details of his budding friendship with Johnny because he’s always the first one to assume who might be the candidates that could potentially steal his heart. He likes to talk about silly crushes and other people’s love life, maybe that’s why he’s been acting like this towards Taeyong.

“Why does everything has to be about sex?” Says Taeyong, exhaling a deep sigh he’s been longing to release.

Ten shrugs, he’s still wearing that awful, mischievous smile of his.

“I mean when was the last time you got laid?”

A month ago, with Johnny, but Ten obviously didn’t need to know that for now. And maybe he hasn’t got laid after that because he thinks no one can ever top the experience he had with Johnny in that one particular night they shared a bed together, which is weird because one-night stands are meant to be forgotten at some point and Taeyong has yet to stop holding onto that memory.

To escape this endless conversation from Ten’s endless suspicions, Taeyong announces to him that they need to get back to work with only three minutes left on the clock for the next hour of shoot.

Ten supposes he could do this on another time. For now he raises a brow, telling Taeyong to look wherever his line of sight was and he whips his head around only to see Johnny preparing his camera and lights.

 _Oww!_ Ten cries when Taeyong hits his arm, but still laughs at the little surprised reaction he managed to get out of Taeyong. He thinks that puts a nice shade of pink on Taeyong’s cheeks.

  
  


Later after the shoot, just like from the day Johnny invited him for dinner, they were the last people to leave the studio once again.

Taeyong sighs and braves a decision to approach Johnny and invite him for lunch, which didn’t take much of a sweat for the other to agree.

“Thanks for letting me cook for you. This is my way of giving back to you for treating me dinner three days ago.”

“You didn’t have to, though,” Johnny smiles, genuinely so and that does nothing but make Taeyong’s heart somersault, “but as long as you won’t poison me.” And then he laughs, shoulders vibrating a little.

If there’s someone Taeyong could poison, it’s himself. With the knowledge of how dangerous his steps would be leaning towards a plan of earning a friendship with Johnny, the very person he’s had a one-night stand weeks ago, it sure does tick off the best ingredient to actually make a recipe of poison for him to drink later.

At some point, Taeyong blamed the situation. If only Johnny had never had to choose to work in the same company he works at, they would’ve never met again, let alone be colleagues. The absurdity of the state they were in had consumed Taeyong’s mind for days, because how was he supposed to forget a certain memory he should’ve forgotten a long time ago if the sole culprit from that memory is in front of him through most days?

A small world, indeed.

Out of all the places he could meet Johnny again, the universe thought it’d be nice for them to have that encounter again in a place where they both take seriously, where the future of their career lies upon.

Just by thinking about it, he can’t help but question himself if what he’s doing right now is considered as rational. He’s sitting next to Johnny in the train as they travel back to Taeyong’s apartment.

Their travel was accompanied by a pleasing silence and random times of stealing glances at each other, which makes Taeyong’s body go stiff and nervous. His eyes begin to wander elsewhere, trying to fight back the urge to look at Johnny’s profile. 

After a long while, the public transit has announced their stop and Taeyong sheepishly guided Johnny on their way out with the familiar road he takes every single day. Johnny followed suit, quietly.

Upon reaching Taeyong’s apartment, he tells Johnny to make himself comfortable while he prepares in the kitchen. Based on the high volume of music dripping from the cracks through his roommate’s door, it’s a dead giveaway that Kun is obviously home producing some beats.

By the time that Taeyong had started sautéing the ingredients he prepared, the apartment was immediately blanketed with a delicious aroma and Johnny’s stomach started to growl. He didn’t do much but watch the other to navigate here and there in their tiny kitchen, obviously one of his elements, so focused that he’s afraid that he could disturb Taeyong if he ever spoke.

Johnny wonders if Taeyong’s roommate is not aware of the aroma just yet or if they’re only opting to ignore it and stay inside their room. But the thought of it easily fades away when Taeyong beckons him to finally have a seat on the dining chair and be served with lunch.

The visual of the dishes Taeyong had prepared was beyond Johnny had expected. He even had to ask Taeyong if he could take a shot of the table full of visually pleasing dishes on his phone. Taeyong giggled at his sudden statement and by how genuinely moved Johnny was with what his eyes could see. After Taeyong’s approval, Johnny snapped several shots using his phone and when his satisfaction had been achieved, he then took the pair of chopsticks beside his plate to finally dive into the food Taeyong made for him.

As soon as Johnny had a taste of Taeyong’s army stew, he couldn’t help but gasp at how good it was, it felt like home and comfort. There was no poison but magic in what Taeyong has made for him.

Taeyong’s heart jumps a little at that. Sure, most people who have tasted his cooking told him already countless times how good he is, but it gives him a different feeling when it’s from Johnny. Almost a new feeling and he immediately welcomed it and he wondered why.

Much as to how that dinner went three days ago, the two of them fell into yet another comfortable silence and later on was replaced by small fun talks and a little get-to-know each other kind of conversation.

After that, Johnny offers to help Taeyong with the dishes in the sink, with him washing the utensils after Taeyong had scrubbed them with dishwashing liquid.

Comfortable, that’s what he feels when he’s with Johnny. Despite not knowing each other well enough, they still fall into a completely comfortable atmosphere and it gives Taeyong relief as someone who gets easily awkward in most situations. Johnny changes the game for him.

But then something shifts in the air. 

Johnny, who has a good sense of self-control, is apparently starting to lose a grip over himself, slowly allowing want and desire to steer the wheel of his brain. Something in him tells him to surge forward and cage Taeyong in between his arms leaning by the edge of the sink once they’re done with the dishes.

Taeyong gulps, the memories of Johnny slamming him against the wall to kiss him hard from their first encounter flashes before his eyes, making his knees go wobbly and slightly rub his thighs together.

“Can I kiss you?” Johnny asks, carefully looking through Taeyong’s eyes, wishing for the other to allow him to capture his lips again. He’s so eager to taste those plump, kissable lips again.

He should’ve at least contemplated, but Taeyong found it difficult to refuse when all he could see in Johnny’s eyes was the sparkle of want. So he nodded, and that’s the only thing Johnny needed to meet Taeyong half way.

The meeting of their lips was nothing but a competition between dominance, clacking of teeth, and hurried motions of their lips as if they’ll lose time if they ever stop.

Eventually, Taeyong let Johnny take the lead, so he placed his hands against the firm and broad chest of Johnny—that’s the only thing that could help him ground himself at this moment.

Johnny feels triumphant, brave enough to lean closer to Taeyong even though they’ve already erased the distance between them moments ago, causing Taeyong to bend his back a little further. Johnny uses the opportunity to snake an arm around Taeyong’s slender waist, oh, that small waist Johnny likes to squeeze and hold on to. They fit so well together like perfect puzzle pieces.

It’s all coming back.

The memories from the first time they’ve ever met flood through Taeyong’s mind, causing a spark that would somehow lead to a bigger disaster, something close to a forest fire, and Taeyong’s a witness of that chaos.

But this is what feeds his fantasies that has been renting free in his mind for quite some time, something that effortlessly fuels his desires and wild thoughts, and now that an open invitation like this has been laid before him to take, there’s nothing else Taeyong could do but to let the flames meet gasoline and burn him to ashes. However, as irrational as it may sound, Taeyong believes that the reason of his demise will also be the one to resurrect him back to life.

_Johnny, Johnny, Johnny._

That five letter word simply clouds his mind, thinking straight is starting to become a challenge with Johnny’s hot breaths against his ear, careful yet burning touches, and searing kisses.

All of that is what he likes to lust over about and more definitely, to be thoroughly ruined by Johnny’s monster cock again that he worships so much.

Taeyong never has been one to believe in religion, but every time Johnny kisses him, bites his lower lip, licks at his neck, touches and fucks him like nobody else could, Taeyong wants to believe that God is real.

And that if he’s ever asked to describe an image of a God, Johnny is surely close to the description that his mind encases.

Or, he could actually be one too.

Heavenly, that’s the right word to describe how he’s feeling right now as Johnny continuously pounds deeply between his walls with abandon. He felt so good being taken as roughly as this, that his eyes could almost see the crevices of his brain when he rolled his eyes back.

Taeyong screams Johnny’s name like a fucking mantra, losing the capability to control the volume of his voice every time Johnny would hit his sweetest spot that it spills everywhere—flows out of his dirty, filthy mouth, his bedsheet, and his ribcage that holds his fragile heart. But then bursting stars would flash beneath his lids, Johnny was the first ever to make him experience that.

Losing restraint is one of Taeyong’s greatest talents when in bed, it’s visible and very audible and Johnny wants to burn the debauched image of Taeyong at the back of his head and swallow every obscene and lewd noise Taeyong is capable of. Everything. It gives him a certain push of motivation to grind his hips better, and to think that he is the reason why Taeyong has to lose his own touch of reality, which blooms an overflowing pride inside his chest.

Every time Johnny perfectly aims at Taeyong’s prostate, pounding inside Taeyong’s warm walls as if they’ve done it a thousand times, creates a huge disturbance in the atmosphere, causing the headboard to hit against the thin walls of the room several times. But they seem to care less. All they care about is to feel each other deeply, to the point where it’s enough to drive them both into madness if they ever stop.

If walls could talk, they would’ve probably asked Johnny and Taeyong to tone it down and consider the fact that they weren’t alone in that very moment with Taeyong’s roommate’s obvious presence next door. But what else could Taeyong do when coherency has already gone somewhere else, probably even before the moment they shut Taeyong’s bedroom door to finally continue what they’ve started.

With urgency and eagerness, Taeyong cups Johnny’s face only for him to pull it closer to slot their mouths together, hoping for the noise pollution to subside, while on top of that, kissing Johnny is quite an experience. An out of this world kind of experience, so he dives in as deep as he could and Johnny lets him.

Their bodies marvelously tangle together as if they were meant to stay that way. The two of them are a perfect picture, Johnny has imagined them making it at the back of The Louvre for how much he thinks they could be such a masterpiece. They are two puzzle pieces that fit together like the Little Prince and his rose.

But they are not.

And they will never be.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Johnny sighs, it’s such a music to Taeyong’s ears, “are you close? Because I am. But I want you to come first.”

Taeyong holds onto Johnny’s shoulder with a vice-like grip. “ _Ah_ —yes. Fuck, Johnny.”

The remaining energy that Johnny has was enough to drive Taeyong on the edge that causes him to scream out loud—significantly louder than before—when he orgasms. Johnny smirks, satisfaction is evident all over his face.

Taeyong’s cheeks are flushed, hands falling beside him when he felt his body sagged, too spent and wrecked, and cries from overstimulation, but soon gasps for air when he felt Johnny’s load to explode inside the latex wrapped around his length, twitching and throbbing as Taeyong clenches his walls to milk off every drop of Johnny’s load.

Johnny carefully sags his body on top of Taeyong, nestling his head against the crook of Taeyong’s neck. Exhaustion immediately crawls inside Johnny. Although it’s a weight that Taeyong is unable to carry, he need not to protest for Johnny’s warmth was enough to hug him in comfort.

“Are you two finally done?” An angry voice, so familiar to Taeyong, outside reaches where Taeyong and Johnny lied on top of each other, trying to collect themselves from the previous hot and messy activity they had.

Taeyong freezes at the sudden disturbance and Johnny had to lift himself up a bit to look at him sheepishly. It was partly his fault anyway, that Taeyong had to scream and moan so loudly that perhaps their neighbors might’ve heard too.

When Taeyong’s roommate heard nothing in response, he said, “thank the fuck because I was so close to attempt a fucking murder!”

Taeyong pursed his lips in thin line, closely hiding his face against Johnny’s looming presence above him as if his roommate could see him. Johnny was just there smiling the entire time—but still felt sorry for Taeyong’s roommate—at Taeyong who looked so small under him.

When they heard a startling and mad bang of the door, signalling them how angrily Taeyong’s roommate had shut his door, Johnny buried his face close to Taeyong’s neck again and spoke.

“Did we just traumatize your roommate? I’m so sorry.”

Taeyong feels sorry for his roommate too. He will surely have them both to sit down and talk, and of course apologize after. His roommate needs to know it’s not his usual self who did it, it’s his horny other self who is to blame.

But who was he trying to trick into thinking that what he did was something he hasn’t been lusting over for weeks?

Kun, his very angry roommate, will surely smack him upside the head first before they could even start talking. His roommate knows him better than himself and that’s something he wished he had a better control of.

“I think we did.” Taeyong simply agrees, chuckling mostly to himself. He thinks he’s blushing, but he blames it on the warmth that Johnny’s after-sex body elicits like he’s a goddamn furnace.

“Do you think we outdid ourselves today?” Johnny asks, finally pulling out his length from the safety of Taeyong’s warm walls as carefully as he can. Taeyong bit his lips, already feeling empty without Johnny’s length inside him.

“I’m pretty sure we did. I feel royally fucked.”

Johnny laughs, very glad to know he’s not the only one who feels incredibly high and happy after the amazing sex they’ve had—even better from the first time they did it together.

  
  


Hours after Johnny had left, Taeyong thought his roommate might’ve forgotten about what happened since he continued to coop himself up inside his room slash studio.

Only an hour later, Kun made his way outside his room to grab some leftover pizza in the fridge. His hunger fades away as soon as he sees Taeyong in the living room watching TV.

Taeyong wished he stayed in his room for the rest of the day after Johnny’s departure, only then he could escape the interrogation and scolding he would get from Kun.

  
  


>>>

  
  


Meeting whenever they deem a right time that fits both their schedule, Johnny and Taeyong never misses a chance.

But what puts Taeyong in an ansty state is the fact that his friends had proposed something he’s been meaning to ignore. For months, his friends kept bugging him to finally meet Johnny. The curiosity does not only bother their own heads but Taeyong’s as well.

Johnny was supposed to be his little secret, something to indulge on his own and it was never planned for his friends and Johnny to officially meet as if they have to—as if Johnny is a significant other of his they needed to meticulously study, whether he passes or not for Taeyong.

And what else is there for Taeyong to do? Refuse his friends, which clearly wouldn’t happen? Because luck is not on his side and his friends were insufferable like that. As much as they wanted to keep Johnny faceless, they can’t. Especially when last night he had excitedly shared via Facetime how adorable Johnny was when he fell asleep on top of his belly.

 _Disgustingly cute,_ Doyoung mutters, rolling his eyes as Taeyong continued to happily share what happened on his day. _If only it wasn’t fake_ , Yuta supplies.

 _Shut up, Nakamoto. Let T live his fantasies for once._ Jungwoo chastises the other for being such a sassy bitch that he is.

Taeyong knew it meant nothing, Johnny’s gestures that is. But since he’s a martyr himself, he dwells on the sweet feelings he would get from those gestures from the other. He could’ve been so deprived and hungry for someone’s touch for him to let Johnny feed his fantasies.

 _So, tomorrow it is? Because you can’t say no._ Yuta speaks again. For someone who’s always the one to sarcastically handle his friend’s situation, Yuta is still vividly thrilled to actually meet Johnny. He’s excited to finally make a face off of the man who so mysteriously steals Taeyong’s heart.

 _Why?_ Taeyong asks, raising a brow in return. _Because I said so_. Is what Yuta replies to him and there’s no other words to stop the other.

After the call, Taeyong wasn’t so sure himself how to break this news to Johnny. Why must he invite Johnny to meet his friends? That’s too questionable. They aren’t even dating for fuck’s sake.

It is obviously far from being necessary for his friends to meet Johnny. No purpose at all.

But still, he tried.

 **To: Johnny**  
are u perhaps free tomorrow?

 **From: Johnny**  
yong! i swear i didnt mean to sleep on u a while ago :(  
pls let me make it up to u <3

 **To: Johnny**  
no worries :(  
u were so cute while snoring ><  
but yes!  
so what do u say about lunch with my friends tomorrow?  
u can always say no if ure not comfortable enough!!!  
we were just gonna go grab some lunch tgt  
thought it’d be nice for u to meet them :D

 **From: Johnny**  
wait are u sure?  
am i not gonna intrude anything?

 **To: Johnny**  
yes  
and u wont 🥺

 **From: Johnny**  
ok!!! 🥰  
i’ll pick u up?

 **To: Johnny**  
no need to 😳

 **From: Johnny**  
but i want to  
just tell me what time!!!  
okay? see u <3

 **To: Johnny**  
okay 👉👈  
around 11 would be fine  
and see ya 🥰

  
  


>>>

  
  


Nervous is such an understatement to describe Taeyong’s state right now. He would’ve never been in this situation in the first place if his friends weren’t as nosy as they are.

Johnny, too, could’ve had a time for himself if he wasn’t so polite in accepting his invitation for lunch with his friends because he obviously didn’t have to.

But the excited chattering of his friends across him over the table—that had effectively managed to earn a sigh from him—about Johnny soon died out when someone approached their table.

“I’m sorry for being late,” and of course, Taeyong knows that voice, “there was a huge traffic.”

Jungwoo lightly kicks his leg under the table when he took a while to say something, obviously distracted by his nerves.

Doyoung helps him out by saying, “don’t worry, we also just got here. Have a seat.”

Taeyong scoots over to let Johnny sit beside him, who carries himself rather confidently. Unlike him whose hands are getting clammy under the table.

“It’s finally nice to meet you.” Says Yuta, meticulously eyeing Johnny but still beams a warm smile at him.

This time, it’s Taeyong who kicks Yuta’s leg under the table. He cannot afford to have his friends expose him here.

Yuta winces and Johnny looks at him with concern. Jungwoo uses the opportunity to call one of the waiters’ attention to receive their order, which effectively puts a halt on Taeyong and Yuta’s childish banter in front of Johnny.

Later that night when all of them had gotten back to their own places, Taeyong and his friends’ group chat dings.

 **doie:**  
he wasnt so bad, yong

 **nakamoto:**  
his height annoys me  
but he seem super nice

 **jeus:**  
are u planning on keeping this one, ty?

 **tyong:**  
obv not gonna happen

 **jeus:**  
what do u mean?

 **doie:**  
i thought u like him?

 **tyong:**  
what???

 **nakamoto:**  
u cant hide it

 **tyong:**  
[sighs]  
well u know  
all of this has happened bc i thought nothing bad will come out of it, i was dumb  
but turns out, im just hurting myself  
he told me this was all just for fun  
i shouldnt be hurt but why am i hurt?  
so yes obviously we cant be together  
we are merely just fubus

 **nakamoto:**  
ugh  
dont say we didnt warn u

 **doie:**  
shut up, yu  
but srsly, ty  
u dont have to stay in that relationship forever  
it’s not healthy and u know it

 **jeus:**  
he was really nice, though  
but doie is right  
again, we dont want u to get hurt

 **nakamoto:**  
or maybe u could tell him how u feel abt him

 **tyong:**  
i’d rather eat a bug

 **nakamoto:**  
im trying to help u save u from pain  
but if thats what u want  
then keep being a coward

 **tyong:**  
it’s obviously not that easy, yu

 **nakamoto:**  
more difficult than keep getting urself hurt?

 **doie:**  
yu has a point

 **jeus:**  
yu has a point (1)

 **nakamoto:**  
thanks, i know  
but it’s all up to u, yong  
nothing will happen if u wont do sumn

 **tyong:**  
im scared

 **doie:**  
let the fear escape and man up

 **jeus:**  
better do that than regret

 **tyong:**  
ㅠㅠ

  
  


>>>

  
  


He should’ve known better earlier, but Taeyong reminds himself that it’s better late than rue his decisions in life even more.

There have been more than enough of times that his friends had warned him about this—about breaking his heart into two if he continued to dive deeper in a relationship that guarantees him loss than success.

 _This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Yong_ , rings at the back of his head as he stands still under the shower. Kun was right. He _is_ always right and he should’ve listened. If he ever did, then maybe he’s not as miserable as he is right now.

As much as he knew that questioning himself over and over again as to why he indulged his stupid feelings for Johnny, Taeyong still brings himself to wonder. He kept wondering why his heart would beat so loudly every time Johnny looks his way, smiling so brightly. It’s not as if Johnny never did the same to others. Those sweet smiles and the way he cares for him is just the same for others.

He is just like any other person Johnny would encounter, Taeyong supposes, and the more he thinks about it, the more he could hear his heart shattering into pieces, because why— _why—_ did he ever believe that he was special when Johnny had clearly told him it was all just for _fun_? And was all supposed to be fun for him too in the first place, but why does it feel as if he’s the only one suffering?

Why did he convince himself that there will be something beautiful to come out after several nights he would spend with Johnny?

Taeyong huffs, as if he had just heard an overused joke that he wasn’t supposed to laugh at. He was clearly the one to blame for letting Johnny in.

And right now, the last thing Taeyong wants is to pity himself over a guy who he had thought was for him. He didn’t want to cry over a man again but he’s here, letting his sobbing to be washed away by the sprinkle of water under the shower because he can’t bring himself not to know that everything is about to change sooner than he thought it would be.

Soon...as in today at work, that as much as he wanted to put on a facade, Ten is Ten—a friend of his who could easily read on drastic changes over people he cares for—and he’s not one to watch a friend be eaten up by a sour mood. Especially to Taeyong who he cares so much for.

“You know you could always talk to me, right?” Ten tells him during today’s break, clinging his arm over Taeyong’s.

Taeyong didn’t seem to register quickly what Ten had said, not until he felt the other’s thumb caressing his clothed arm.

Once he was shaken out of his reverie, Taeyong blinked at his friend. He looks so out of it.

“You’re not yourself today,” Ten says softly, pinning his chin on top of Taeyong’s shoulder and looks at him with a careful gaze, “did something happen?”

Taeyong immediately shakes his head, smiling just a tad bit. “Nothing, just lack of sleep.”

Despite getting nosy at times, Ten chooses not to pry this time. He knows when to stop and when to put someone on the edge until they spill the beans, and Taeyong’s grateful that Ten didn’t choose the latter today.

Ten believes him despite hearing a hint of a lie under his words, opting to wait for Taeyong to tell him what’s been bothering him whenever he’s ready.

  
  


>>>

  
  


Taeyong knew that it’s not just Ten who would notice, of course the very person who he wanted to avoid would later on wonder why Taeyong’s been getting cold to him lately.

The first Thursday they didn’t meet was also the fourth day Taeyong had been avoiding Johnny as if it could fix everything that’s been bothering him.

Yuta is right and he just realized that by now. He is a coward, because what he’s doing right now is what a scaredy cat like him would do. But what else could he do when all he would feel every time he simply catches Johnny looking at him is to melt in a puddle of goo? How can he not avoid Johnny when he kept wanting him when he should’ve not?

Taeyong needs to get out of it or else he would just be calling for self sabotage.

For several days, Kun forced himself to ignore the unusual mood Taeyong would radiate on most days.

He’s usually a sunshine like the morning sun and never a thin layer of ice like a newly frozen river on a winter night. But as soon as he’s finally decided that this is it—this is finally it that he should cut ties with Johnny and whatever this is that’s been going on between them.

As much as it could kill him, for he’s starting to feel the blossoming bud of love inside his chest for Johnny, Taeyong thinks it’s better this way than to create more damage...an irreparable one.

However, Friday the next day turned out to be quite an eventful day for Taeyong—not much to how he had expected it to be.

Not exactly how he wanted it to be.

From his original plan of avoiding Johnny, as childish as it is, this is something he probably had expected to happen sooner or later.

He knew Johnny would at least say or do something one of these days and he knew so well too that there’s no way he would be able to ignore him if he did, because he’s so smitten he would easily fall for his words again...and that’s what scares him most. He has never been in this place before where he thinks that loving someone was easy as blinking.

Johnny is in a different league and that he knows so well, too.

And when he heard that familiar voice—deep and mesmerising as always—calling out his name in the empty parking lot later that night, his feet were ready to leave but not so much his heart.

“Taeyong, please!”

The wind blows and Taeyong shivers. Slowly, he could hear the faint steps from the other approaching and his feet were still stuck on the ground before he could even reach his car.

“Taeyong,” Johnny begs, reaching for the other’s arm to get his attention, “please talk to me. I missed you so much.” The last sentence was said through a whisper, but despite the careful tone Johnny used, Taeyong still managed to catch it and that’s what urged him to look back.

He’s now looking at Johnny as if he’s grown another head.

But even before he could say something, Johnny beats him to it. “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? And if I did, can you please tell me so I could apologize for it?”

Johnny looks so hurt and small in a way that Taeyong had never imagined before, because Johnny was always a happy giant sweetheart. This is almost enough to break his heart into two.

Taeyong heaves a deep breath and shakes his head.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I’m not a—”

“Yes you are.” Johnny tells him, exasperated. “We haven’t talked for _five_ days...you don’t even look at me as if I don’t exist!”

“It’s because I can’t, okay?” Taeyong’s voice grows louder just like Johnny’s.

The taller's forehead was now lined with a frown. “I don’t understand.”

Taeyong attempts to simmer down his emotions through inhaling, heaving a deep breath that the cold air immediately assaulted his nostrils. His face was etched with irritation.

“Talk to m—” this time, it was Johnny’s words that were cut off when Taeyong pulled his arm from Johnny’s hold, causing the taller to startle himself by the sudden gesture as if Taeyong hated his touch so much.

Taeyong himself is not certain if he is angry with Johnny or himself.

However, there’s a huge possibility that it is the latter.

“It’s because I’m starting to like you, okay?” The very revelation and truth from his words effortlessly made his eyes to be brimmed with tears. He felt so stupid for crying once again for he promised himself to never shed a tear anymore if it’s for something as foolish as this, but here he is, showing his vulnerable side to Johnny. He hates himself too for raising his voice yet again to the other.

Breathing is starting to become a challenge to Taeyong now, but still chooses to go on because he just wanted an end to this. So he continues, “I can’t keep attaching myself close to you because I know it’s going to hurt me even more if I did! Are you happy now?” Taeyong exhales, making his breath visible by the cold temperature, and immediately covers his face with his hands.

“What?” Johnny was stunned. That was the last thing he expected Taeyong to tell him.

“God, this is so embarrassing.” Taeyong says and his voice gets muffled against his palms. “Let’s just end this, Johnny. I’m so sorry.”

Silence meets them thereafter. Only the howling of the wind is what they could hear right now, rustling the leaves from the trees surrounding the lot.

Then…

“Okay.” Johnny starts again, effectively startling Taeyong—with his face still hidden behind his hands—because there’s still a little part of him that wished for Johnny to never let him go. “Let’s end _whatever_ this is that we have…

Taeyong nods against his palms, now sobbing and just afraid to look at the other. He thinks he doesn’t have the courage to do so. He wouldn’t be able to take it if there should be hurt painted all over Johnny’s expression.

...so I could finally ask you out on a date and eventually be mine. Like, make everything _official_...as in— have you as my _boyfriend_.”

Johnny caught himself rambling, his nerves eating him up. This isn’t what he visualized how he would profess his feelings to Taeyong, they even got into an argument for fuck’s sake.

With Johnny’s words, Taeyong felt as if the air in his lungs would dissipate.

“What?” Now it is Taeyong’s turn to be confused, finally showing his tear-stained face to Johnny. “I—”

Taeyong’s words were immediately cut off by a pair of lips on his own. As he was expecting, he never really mastered the art of refusing Johnny.

The warmth of Johnny’s breath mixing his own as they kept their mouths busy was enough for Taeyong to wound his arms around Johnny’s neck like his life depended on it.

Tears kept rolling on his cheeks but no longer of anger...but with _joy_ —that he could feel his heart swelling with so much delight.

They kiss to their heart’s content, making it up for the last five days they haven’t had any contact with each other, and for the times that had passed behind them that could’ve possibly allowed them to be as one if they weren’t fucking cowards.

And once they parted to catch their breaths, Taeyong immediately hid his blushing face against the crook of Johnny’s neck.

For a moment, no one uttered a word. It’s just them, chest to chest with two beating hearts synchronizing as one, smiling so widely, and eyes full of tears.

“So, can I really take you out on a date?” Johnny whispers close to Taeyong’s ear to break the silence, and maybe he wanted to confirm what just happened, too, hoping it is not some kind of a dream. Then Taeyong punches his broad chest, which only made Johnny laugh.

“Can I even say no to you when all you ever did was to make me weak in the knees?”

“You love me.” Johnny teases him and Taeyong buries his face even more close to Johnny’s skin that was covered by a soft turtleneck.

“Shut up.”

Taeyong could feel his ears burning by the way he blushes and not by the harsh cold wind.

“You do.”

“I do! Stop mocking me already.”

Johnny laughs and wraps his arms around Taeyong’s waist, bringing their bodies as close as they can.

“I do, too.” Says Johnny, tightening his embrace on Taeyong. “And now that you do, too, it feels like a dream come true.”

“I’m glad it did,” Taeyong leans closer to Johnny, wanting to feel more of the warmth that his body radiates and hums in contentment, “because you are my dream.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i would love hear your thoughts about it!


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